Why your child won’t tell you if they’re being groomed online
Did you know that more than half of primary school children have been sent inappropriate images or witnessed inappropriate behaviour online but not a single one of them has told, or will tell, their parents? In this blog I will share with you why that is and what we...
My child is SO emotional all the time and no matter what I say I seem to make it worse
I hear you and I know how tricky it is when your child’s emotional responses seem totally disproportionate to what just happened. When your child explodes and implodes all over the shop and it feels impossible to relate to or keep up with. In this blog you will...
I scream, you scream, we all scream … about SCREENS
How much is too much and who decides? I am talking about screen-time here but maybe it really should be called scream-time? It certainly is an issue that can raise the temperature even in the most peaceful household. For a lot of families it is a hotly contested issue...
THE NO. 1 EASIEST WAY TO MAKE YOUR FAMILY HAPPY
In a recent blog I wrote about ‘button pushing’ in our relationship with our children and how our own unresolved childhood stuff surfaces for healing when we get triggered by our Dear Darlings. When searching for images for the blog I came across this meme: And that...
WHY IT ISN’T THE BULLYING ITSELF THAT DOES THE DAMAGE
It is not at all uncommon for parents to be unaware that their child is being bullied. Children keep quiet about it because they don’t want to upset us, or perhaps they are worried that we will make the problem worse. If your normally placid child becomes aggressive...
WHAT HAVE BUTTONS GOT TO DO WITH THE TANGO?
I hear you! My blogs are one-sided and unfair. The answer always seems to be that you have to change when really it is your child who is the one with the problem. I get it, I truly do, and it’s hard but I also know that all families become happier when parents find a...
WHEN THEIR FIRE AND FURY CAUSES YOU TO CRUMPLE AND RETREAT
Last month I wrote about ‘Fire and Fury’ and how to avoid escalating the situation when your child or teen declares war by shouting ‘I hate you’ to your face, and you find yourself morphing into Kim Jong-un or Donald Trump. I promised that I’d return with advice...
THE ONE THING NOT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD IS ANXIOUS
While it was flattering for a while to be so loved and needed, the truth is it is beginning to wear you down.
The constant asking about what you are doing, where you are going and when you will be back is by now feeling more like a prison than a popularity contest.
Here’s the thing: Maybe they are genuinely fearful of being apart from you, incredibly afraid of germs and downright petrified of robbers coming into the house at night. And perhaps they feel genuine terror about making mistakes in their homework.
But there is something else going on as well.
YOU DON’T NEED TO WEAR A WIG TO LOOK LIKE DONALD TRUMP
You understand intellectually that your child is obviously deeply distressed and in emotional turmoil to behave like they do, but it still feels like a punch in the gut when they shout 'I hate you' in your face. Some days you crumple inside and retreat but other days...
Is perfectionism stalking your family?
Living with a perfectionist isn’t much fun: their endless self-reproach and criticism can be tiring and boring. However, being the perfectionist is a thousand times worse! At least you get to go out for a break; they can’t escape it!
The perfectionist has to live with the joy-zapping thief of all the jolly, fun, relaxing, silly things in life. All that makes life blissful gets stolen by the belief that ‘perfect exists and I must always attain it.’
One small person, such big needs!
I hear so often from parents that family life would be perfect and harmonious if only [that one child] didn’t always provoke arguments, pick fights and disrupt the peace with petty wind-ups. It feels like sabotage, it feels predictable and it is exhausting and...
The Minefield of Teenage Friendships
You feel so helpless and powerless when your child is struggling with friendships and belonging. Your upset at their upset can be really overwhelming. It is seriously stressful and all too easy to lose perspective as well as sleep and patience. When your child feels...
Is your child holding up to the pressure of school?
Around 40% of the children I see in my practice are suffering from stress because of school work. Is your child or teenager feeling overwhelmed by their amount of school work? Is the pressure of deadlines and tests making them feel anxious, inadequate and stressed? Is...
How to talk to your child about terror attacks
How do you help your child or teenager come to terms with the shocking terrorist events that are happening? It is hard to speak about these atrocities in a way that supports and helps your child without making their fears worse and, at the same time, acknowledging the...
The 5 questions you must ask yourself if your child is anxious
Did you know that more than half of primary school children have been sent inappropriate images or witnessed inappropriate behaviour online?
In this blog I share what we as parents can do about it.
What to do if you suspect your teenager is clinically depressed?
You have put up with the moods and the tempers for a while and you have learnt not to ask certain questions at certain times. You have passed it off as just part of growing up, pressure at school, boyfriend trouble. A bit down in the dumps but it will surely pass. But...
Why ‘Talk to the Hand’ is a great way to start the conversation
You have noticed that your child has been behaving … um almost too well … for a while. While at the start of the lockdown he was excited and full of ideas, questions and rebellion now he is not doing anything challenging and he is staying close to you all the time....