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The Paradox of Teenage Meltdowns

The Paradox of Teenage Meltdowns

Accept what is - and it changes Last week I gave a keynote at Saffron Walden County High School - talking all things teen chaos, and why it’s not the moment for logic. You might’ve been there. Your child’s yelling, spiralling, totally unreachable. You try to reason....

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How to Ease Exam Stress in Teenagers This Spring

How to Ease Exam Stress in Teenagers This Spring

How to Ease Exam Stress in Teenagers This Spring Hot cross buns, chocolate eggs, lighter evenings… the sap is rising and everything outside is bursting with the energy of spring. But inside homes and schools across the country, it's a different story. For thousands of...

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WHAT HAVE BUTTONS GOT TO DO WITH THE TANGO?

WHAT HAVE BUTTONS GOT TO DO WITH THE TANGO?

I hear you! My blogs are one-sided and unfair. The answer always seems to be that you have to change when really it is your child who is the one with the problem. I get it, I truly do, and it’s hard but I also know that all families become happier when parents find a...

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THE ONE THING NOT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD IS ANXIOUS

THE ONE THING NOT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD IS ANXIOUS

While it was flattering for a while to be so loved and needed, the truth is it is beginning to wear you down.

The constant asking about what you are doing, where you are going and when you will be back is by now feeling more like a prison than a popularity contest.

Here’s the thing: Maybe they are genuinely fearful of being apart from you, incredibly afraid of germs and downright petrified of robbers coming into the house at night.  And perhaps they feel genuine terror about making mistakes in their homework.

But there is something else going on as well.

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Is perfectionism stalking your family?

Is perfectionism stalking your family?

Living with a perfectionist isn’t much fun: their endless self-reproach and criticism can be tiring and boring. However, being the perfectionist is a thousand times worse!  At least you get to go out for a break; they can’t escape it!

The perfectionist has to live with the joy-zapping thief of all the jolly, fun, relaxing, silly things in life. All that makes life blissful gets stolen by the belief that ‘perfect exists and I must always attain it.’

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One small person, such big needs!

One small person, such big needs!

I hear so often from parents that family life would be perfect and harmonious if only [that one child] didn’t always provoke arguments, pick fights and disrupt the peace with petty wind-ups. It feels like sabotage, it feels predictable and it is exhausting and...

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The Minefield of Teenage Friendships

The Minefield of Teenage Friendships

You feel so helpless and powerless when your child is struggling with friendships and belonging. Your upset at their upset can be really overwhelming. It is seriously stressful and all too easy to lose perspective as well as sleep and patience. When your child feels...

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