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Emotions vs Feelings Parenting: What You Need to Know

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Have you ever felt completely confused by your teen’s moods – or your own?

This came up for me the other day, working with a dad who was repeatedly ping-ponging between feeling desperately sorry for his son and completely aggravated by the rudeness and pushback.

The deeper truth is: most of us were never taught the difference between emotions and feelings – and it’s a distinction that changes everything about how we show up as parents.

A man in a pink polo shirt sits next to a distressed young person who covers their face with their hands. The older man gently comforts the younger person on a bed in a bright bedroom.

What’s the difference between emotions and feelings?

👉 Emotions are raw, fast, full-body experiences.
👉 Feelings involve thought and consideration.

We often use the two words interchangeably (I still do sometimes!), but they’re not the same thing.

Understanding this is especially crucial when parenting adolescents. Why?

A man in a pink polo shirt sits next to a distressed young person who covers their face with their hands. The older man gently comforts the younger person on a bed in a bright bedroom.

Because teens are often flooded with emotion. They’re riding massive hormonal, neurological, and identity shifts – and they need parents who can hold space for the storm, not fear it.

The emotional overwhelm loop

Here’s the common loop I see again and again in families:

  1. A teenager is flooded with emotion (anger, sadness, fear).
  2. The parent doesn’t feel safe in the presence of that big emotion.
  3. The parent reacts — by shutting it down, dismissing it, or escalating.
  4. The teen feels misunderstood, unsafe, or ashamed.
  5. The cycle repeats, deepening the disconnect.

Sound familiar?

It’s not because you’re doing it wrong. It’s because no one taught you this.

If we remain unaware, emotions exert a covert force upon us.

We risk being puppets on a string, doing things and making decisions with unwanted consequences because old programming and emotions are pretending to be in charge.

Six black blocks with various white chalk-drawn facial expressions are arranged on an orange background, showing emotions like happiness, sadness, confusion, and anger.

The role of emotional literacy

When you learn how to name what’s really going on — in yourself and in your child — you stop reacting and start responding.

This is the foundation of emotional literacy. It’s what I teach in my workshops and with the families I support.

Instead of avoiding big emotions, you learn to meet them with calm curiosity:

“That made you angry. That’s okay – we all get angry. It probably felt unfair, and I can see why you’d feel that way.”

Suddenly, your child feels safe. Their nervous system settles. And the door to connection reopens.

Energy psychology tools make this even more powerful

As an Energy Psychology Therapist, I use tools like EFT tapping, breathwork, and nervous system regulation techniques that help both parent and teen come back to centre.

This isn’t just mindset work – it’s embodied emotional regulation.
And when parents learn this, everything shifts.

Start where you are – and stay curious

You don’t need to get it perfect. You just need to begin understanding the emotional world of your child — and your own – with more depth and less fear.

Want to explore this with me?

👉 Book a (free) WayForward Consultation and let’s have a real conversation about what’s going on in your family.