Mum Harriet and Rose aged 17 on Body Image Problems:
“For as long as I remember Rose has been neurotic about her appearance. I do feel guilty that she might have copied me; certainly about diets. I am always on and off diets but I don’t hate myself or my body.
Anyway, last year it all came to a head when her boyfriend broke up with her. After that she lost so much weight and became just obsessed with exercise and food; and was trying to hide it.
Thank God for her school and her friends or who knows how it might have ended if she hadn’t agreed to come and see you?”
Rose and I worked at a level 3 on the Pathway through Body Image Problems.
Rose’s self-esteem and body-image was very skewed and the self-loathing she felt was 10/10. Underneath was a very entrenched decision to strive for perfection at all cost and at all times.
With the perfectionist streak comes a relentlessly critical mindset that is unforgiving and Rose was caught in the trap of desperately trying to achieve perfection (in looks and actions), which, of course, does not exist.
Always striving but never arriving brings with it the belief that you do not deserve…yet; You are not worthy…yet , because you could, should or ought to have done ‘it’ better.
That inner critic is ruthless and has no compassion and once we loosened Rose’s “Oath to be Perfect” Rose could validate her own uniqueness, respect her skills and appreciate herself and her body.
Harriet, 10 weeks after Rose’s completion of level 3/Body Image Pathway:
“For me the best thing has been how calm life is again. An eating disorder comes with a lot of fear and drama. Rose has made huge progress and is just a delight to be around again. My husband and I are no longer terrified of her going to university. She has learnt so much about herself in this process and what I have especially noticed is that she really considers what she wants for herself in life now. She is not just saying yes to please me.”